Strange Encounters of the RMV Kind
by DJ Elpern

Thirty-six years ago, in April of 1986, I attended the Academy of Dermatology’s annual meeting in Las Vegas.  On the first day, I directed a course on searching MEDLINE, the National Library of Medicine’s online-  literature search engine.  The AAD’s meeting lasted a few more days, and I found myself aimlessly wandering through the vast depressing convention center and walking the steamy tinsel strip, getting disheartened by the gaudy, superficial city.

Realizing that the Grand Canyon was just a few hours drive, I rented a car and my colleague, Pat Kenny and I headed there to escape Sin City.  It was glorious at the Canyon where we descended on mules along the Bright Angel Trail to Indian Gardens.  The ride was harrowing on the steep icy trail and  all I could think of was whether my life insurance policy was paid up.

Reenergized, in high spirits, we drove back to L.V. a couple of days later.  The road was straight and deserted. Perhaps, surviving the Bright Angel trail rendered me a bit manic as I sped northward until on an isolated stretch of road sirens blared and we were pulled over and cited for speeding.  A court date was set and I explained to the young patrolman that I was headed back to L.V. and then home to Hawaii.  It didn’t seem like a big deal

I don’t remember much more about this and had not thought about that traffic stop until 2022 when I received a form letter from the Massachusetts Registry of Motor Vehicles (RMV) informing me “effective of 5 May, 1986 your license to operate a motor vehicle is suspended for an indefinite period.”  I have been a scofflaw for 36 years!

I haven’t been pulled over by a policeman for a driving infraction in greater than 20 years and have had only one ticket since Arizona on April 5, 1986; but I now started to drive more cautiously realizing that my license was suspended.

A few days after receiving the RMV’s “Massachusetts Reciprocal Suspension” letter I called the Arizona Department of Motor Vehicles (AZ DMV) and after a half-hour or so of pleasant waiting music the phone was answered and gave my information.  The pleasant clerk told me that he had to forward my call to a higher authority and after 10 minutes or so, a courteous clerk answered.  She found my file and informed me that I had paid the fine in 1986 (I have no memory of this), but it was late and a $10 late fee was attached.  I had never paid that and so, my license was suspended on May 5, 1986.

She helped me pay the $10 late fee online and the next day I tried to call the Massachusetts RMV.  It was impossible to get to speak with anyone (are there actually humans there?); but, armed with the letter stating that the AZ DMV had rescinded my suspension, I was informed that the MA RMV would review my case.  Three days later I received an email from the RMV stating:

“Thank you for submitting your request via the RMV’s Online Service Center. The RMV will review your document(s) and contact you with next steps within 3-5 business days.

To increase your account security, we recommend you add an additional communication method to access your account. Click here to log on and add an additional method.

We welcome your feedback! Please click here to email us.”

As promised, three days later, I received an email from the RMV:

“Dear RMV Customer,

Your reciprocal suspension(s) have been resolved based on your submission. You may now pay associated fees to reinstate your right to operate using the link below.

Pay My Reinstatement Fees

Thank you for using Mass.Gov/RMV.”

I went to the RMV’s website and learned that the reinstatement fee was $100 to be paid online.  At no point, try as I did, could I connect with a sentient being.

So, a $10 late fee that I was unaware of for 36 years led to my license being suspended and cost $100 to get it reinstated.

Discussion
It’s clear that machines, not people were the decision-makers here.  For a $10 late fee, I was treated the same way a serious violator would have been.  The RMV had the right to suspend my license without any idea (or concern) regarding the facts of the case.  Algorithms don’t care.  If I wanted to challenge the crazy fee it would cost me more time and effort, and I would have had to continue driving with a suspended license, vulnerable to any traffic stop or mishap.

This bizarre event ended well; yet how many more cases like this are out there and how many others have suffered more than I at the whims of the RMV’s computers?  The RMV is a callous bureaucracy run by protocols and the public has no recourse to reason or explain anything.  It’s like talking to a wall.  I got off cheap and learned something in the process – but still, this is absurd.